
From Amanda Shaw - Cyclist Halloween costumes:)!!
Doping Cyclist: Dress up in full pro kit. Use a marker to draw needletracks up and down one arm. Tie a length of surgical tubing above oneelbow and leave a syringe sticking out of your vein. Wheel around an IVtower for the duration of the party. Stuff your jersey pockets with bottlesof drugs. When anyone asks what / who you are, respond that you are aprofessional cyclist. When they ask what all the needles and drugs arefor, say you have no idea what they're talking about. No matter what, donot admit you have any drug-related items on hand.
Mountain Biker (If You're normally a Roadie): Prepare for the party bygaining 10Kg and getting 20-30 tattoos. Wear baggy pants -- baggy enoughthat they keep falling down. Arrive drunk at the party and continue todrink once you get there. Insist you have mad skillz.
Roadie (If You're normally a Mountain Biker): Prepare for the party byputting a stick in your butt. Wear uncomfortably tight cycling clothes forthe party, drink nothing put thrice-filtered water and tell everyoneexactly how many calories and fat everything they're eating contains.
Triathlete: Don't come to the party, because you've only done fourworkouts today and still need to get in one more and you don't want tobreak training, no matter what.
Recumbent Rider: Tape your glasses together, somehow manage to affix apocket protector to your jersey, and loudly and insistently explain to alland sundry that recumbents are really much more comfortable and practicalthan "wedge" bikes. Talk a lot about prostates.
Recreational Cyclist: Wear street clothes with your right pant leg cuffcompletely greasy and shredded. Wear a bike helmet backwards and cockedto one side. Tell people that you're starting to bike again to get backin shape.
Commuter: Wear street clothes, but carry a backpack or messenger bag fullof what are clearly stinky bike clothes the entire evening. Make yourhelmet hair extremely obvious. Keep looking for opportunities to casuallyintroduce the fact that you are a bike commuter into every singleconversation in which you participate.
Fixie / Track Cyclist: Dress the same as a road cyclist, but you mustalways either keep walking or -- if you must stay in one place -- you musttrackstand by moving a couple inches forward, then back, then forward andback again.